Weekly Update 100
What a number.
Hello. I’m Seth Oberlender. I wrote a book once. Around 100 weeks ago, in fact. My dream is to be a published author. Specifically to see my book on a bookshelf in a bookstore. To see my name amongst the rows of others. It has been 100 weeks since I started my journey to make that dream a reality. Well, not exactly 100 weeks. Any one who has read these updates can attest to how often I skip weeks. But now, I have updated you for one hundred weeks… and there is proof. It’s right there, at the top of this page.
How surreal. I thought I would have an agent by week fifty, but I hoped I would have an agent by week two. Here I am, on week 100, with no agent and a mountain of rejections. It almost feels like I should have planned something for this. Some sort of announcement, or event. It feels like a birthday, in a way. 100 weeks.
Sometimes I read The Void Full of Starlight and try to imagine I didn’t write it. Would I still like it? The answer is always yes. That shouldn’t be much of a surprise; I wrote something I would want to read, but I can’t help but read it knowing what I meant by every word, what ideas I have for it moving forward, and all the energy I poured into it. The result is… I don’t know if it is good. I have been assured by my family, my friends, and even perfect strangers, and yet I can’t tell myself that I wrote a good book. I think it is because to have written a good book, I would have to be a good writer.
Every good writer I have met or heard of or want to be like is published. Every good writer has an agent, and a series, and book deals, and fans, and expectations. They have their names on books on shelves in stores. After 100 weeks of searching for someone to represent my work, to herald it, to sell it as the next best thing, has left me wondering: am I a good writer?
I don’t know.
All I know is that my dream is still real. I still walk into bookstores and look for where my name would be. Will be. I am very grateful for the support I have gotten from my friends and family, and from you. If you have read even one of these updates you have added to my confidence as a writer and a creative. It is because of you that I still do this. I may not be a great writer, but I can still try and improve. Thank you for reading. I will see you next week, on the other side of 100.
